Jazzing Up

A frustrated housewife decides to jazz up her sex life after 20 years of marriage.
She buys a pair of crotchless panties, applies a lot of makeup and greets her husband at the door in the sexy new lingerie. 
Slowly spreading her legs open, she says in her most seductive come-to-bed voice: “Honey, would you like some of this?
The husband looks between his wife's legs and then up at her doting eyes and replies:
“Hell no! Look at what it's done to your underwear!”