. St. Peter Vs Cheerleaders

A high school cheerleading squad were in a bus that shot off a cliff killing all onboard... Don't laugh yet!
When they got to heaven they were met by St. Peter at the gate.
He asked the first girl if she had done anything with any boys, and she said to St. Peter that she had held a boys hand, so St. Peter told her to wash her hands in the holy water before entering heaven.
St. Peter then asked the second girl the same question, and she said she had kissed a boy, so Peter told her to wash her lips in holy water before entering heaven.
Then Peter noticed two farther back in line girls arguing over their position in line.
Peter asked the girls what was going on, and the one girl said to him,
 

I'm not gargling that after she sits in it.

4 Perfect Rhyme

One day in school the teacher asks the students to make a rhyme and beautiful
and asks the first
 Tell Maria what their rhymes?
 I have something that is mine alone, my mommy's heart.
 Congratulations Mary beautiful. He spoke the teacher
 and you Charlie.
 

I love like a flower.
 Very cute Charlie said the teacher.
 Johnny And you say your rhyme.
 There comes a kangaroo with a flower in the ass.
 The teacher tells him indiginada refarzer the sentence .
and asks him again after a few minutes.
Joãozinho. Pergunta-Tell the teacher

Unjust Punishment

A little girl comes home from school in tears:
 Mommy, Mommy, sniff ... sniff ...
 What was my daughter ?
 Today ... at school ... I pulseram punishment ... sniff
 

Grounded why?
 for one thing ... I did ....
 But this is absurd! I Come diretora. pega talk to the girl in the hand and drags her out of seeing her daughter casa.Na street calmer question
 WHAT What you did was my daughter?
 the homework ... buaaaaa ...

Student's Law

A student of law making an oral examination
Professor:
 What is a fraud?
 is what Mr. Teacher is doing.
 

Professor very indignant:
 Explain yourself ...
According to the Penal Code anyone who commits fraud takes advantage of the ignorance of others to hurt!

Do not have Pencils

In a pre-school room, the boy complains
Pofessola, I have no pencil!
Is not that how you talk - corrects her, patiently. 

The correct way is "I do not HAVE pencil," "Thou shalt not TENS pencil", "He does not HAVE pencil", "We do not HAVE pencil", "You have no pencil" and "They do not HAVE pencil" ... understand?
No - Replies the boy, confused. - Where they got all these pencils?

Tenses

A teacher says, “Okay, class. Today we’re going to be talking about the tenses. If I say ‘I’m beautiful,’ which tense is it?”

Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Obviously past tense, Miss.”

Player

The teacher comes to class and asks:
Gretel and where his father's profession?
She replies:
Doctor!
Then he asks the girl something to Luaninha.
She replies:
Advocate!
It is the same question w / Johnny:
He answers
is the one who climbs the table in the bar, takes off her clothes and gets in a loincloth and people put money in thong!

The teacher tells everyone to leave the room and she asks Johnny:
His father does that?
He responds :
Of course it is not corinhitians player but I was ashamed to talk to my friends!
She says:
What, who had to be ashamed because he was dating the rooster with a hen!

Professor

Professor: 
- Joaquim, say the present tense of the verb walk. 
- I walk you walk ... you ... he walks ... 
- Faster! 
- We run, you correis, they run..!!

Children Fear the Beast

In a country school teacher asks the students:
- Oh, Peter, you have more than fear in the world?
- The Mule-without-head fessora!
- But ... Pedrinho The Mule-head no-no! And you, Marie? What is more afraid?
- Oh, fessora! - Susie said, anxious - I'm terrified of Saci Pererê!
- Susie ... The Saci Pererê does not exist ... You need not fear these things ... They are just legends ... Johnny, tell the class: what are you most afraid of?
- Oh, Aunt ... I'm afraid the Mail Man!
- Suitcase Man? - The teacher asks in astonishment - Who is this Man Mala, boy?
- Look, I do not know who he is, but every day, before bed, my mother asks God: "Let us not into temptation, but deliver us from the Mail Man!