Chocolate Cake

There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note from my girl, Don't eat me.
 

Now there's an empty plate and a note, Don't tell me what to do.

Car Problem

A woman came home one day and told her husband: Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is.
Her husband asked her what it was and she told him it had water in the injectors. The husband thought for a moment, then said: I don't mean this badly, but you don't know the injectors from the accelerator.
No, there's definitely water in the injectors, she insisted.
 

OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it? the husband asked.
In the lake.

Wrong Idea

Mr. White, the biology teacher at a posh suburban girls' school, asked during class: Miss Smith, would you name the organ in the human body that, under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.
Miss Smith gasped, then said snottily: Mr. White, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you that my parents will hear of this.
With that, she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. White called on Miss Jones, and asked the same question. Miss Jones, with complete composure, replied: The pupil of the eye, in dim light.
 

Correct, said Mr. White. Now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you: one, you have not studied your lessons. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment.